cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
