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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
