This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
