oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm jealous of your bromance
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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