oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
someone get that fucking seahorse.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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