Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
