garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
