I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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