Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Enjoy the penises
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
