Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
