Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
