i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
