i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Randomize
