Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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