if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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