I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
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