I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
