I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
