sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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