she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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