Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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