Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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