He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
