I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.