i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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