he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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