dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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