So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
this hospital has no fireball
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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