Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
