i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
