you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
God, I missed his penis.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
