Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
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