Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
