didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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