Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
hell yes lets make some ravioli
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
