i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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