First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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