i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
