I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
