Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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