i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
