theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize