i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize