billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
What happened to fro yo and sex?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
