Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Boobs are out for the taking
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
