She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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