he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
