Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Maybe he injected his testicle?
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
