don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize