Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
