I just cut my nipple shaving
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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