Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
