I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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