Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize