i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
