I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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