Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I supernannyed him into submission
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
