Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
