dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Randomize
