Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We're too hungover to prance.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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