JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
