oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
