Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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