Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Sext me about skeletons
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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