God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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