I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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