i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
