god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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