Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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